As the tears streamed down her face, I recognized the struggle. Grace deficit hyperactivity disorder. I suffered from it for years, so it’s easy to recognize. The tentacles of this beast latch onto many aspects of life, creating chaos where God intends there to be peace, strength, and confidence. Like a plant visited by a blight, GDHD attacks systemically, undermining every aspect of faith.
Grace deficit hyperactivity disorder tells us that the blood of Jesus Christ is not really enough to cover our sin. Its particular effects vary from person to person, but there are some standard impacts of grace deficit hyperactivity disorder. Those who suffer from it have never experienced the beautifully redemptive free flow of grace, so several standard struggles bubble up. Each one is painful. Each one is a lie.
When grace is misunderstood, salvation becomes an economy of works. If one is not saved by “Sola Gratia, Sole Fide, Sola Christus”, the goal of life becomes righteous achievement. It's an impossible standard; one never held by our heavenly Father. Striving, suffering, and sacrificing won’t work. Pushing hard at Galatians 6 Fruit of the Spirit usually ends in frustration. However valiant our efforts, we can’t earn heaven and we know it. When GDHD presents, followers feel an urgency to do more, to be better, to work harder, to give, sacrifice, serve more and more. They are on a relentless merry-go-round that never stops spinning.
The memory of that struggle is vivid. One of my dear friends died several years ago under that cloud. Her struggle with breast cancer was horrible, playing out before her husband and six kids. She was in her forties, and feverishly fought the cancer through every medical technology available. When the cancer traveled to her brain and her spine, her battle expanded as she responded with gamma knife surgery, stronger chemo, and deeper radiation. The day before her death, she asked her priest a question. He shared her heartbreaking response at the funeral. “I hope I’ve been good enough,” she said, as he held her pale, weakened hand. This was GDHD.
God certainly calls us to do good works; “For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). Good works speak to a hurting world. Jesus commands them, saying, “And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward" (Matthew 10:42). Giving, loving, caring, and serving in Christ’s name shares the love and light of Christ with those who do not know it. Good works originating from a transformed heart follow the biblical path of sanctification. As our heart responds to grace with grace, we are shaped by truth.
The most devastating repercussion of Grace Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is the one that led to my counselee’s tears. The shame and brokenness we carry regarding our sin keeps us from amazing grace. We’re bound up in the lie that we can never be healed, never completely forgiven, never redeemed. The lie says there’s no way to come back from what we’ve done. Because of the particularities of what we’ve done, we cannot experience God’s mercy. In essence, the lie says we cannot be saved.
This lie, from the pit of hell, directly opposes the beautiful truth of Jesus' precious blood. The forked tongue that speaks this one must be directly rebuked, sometimes again and again. When we tell that liar to shut up and go back to hell, we begin to embrace the awe-inspiring, free-flowing, absolute redemptive wonder of grace.
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